Your car stinks
In my job working for an auto repair shop I drive a lot of people’s cars, and let me tell you something: your car stinks. That’s right, there’s a pretty good chance you car fucking stinks. Most people either don’t realize their car stinks or they have gotten used to the smell and think it must be normal for your car to stink like a wet motherfucking dog or baby vomit or fat lady underarm or whatever that funky ass smell is. That shit ain’t normal.
If you have pets (especially dogs) and regularly transport them in your car/truck/suv and you don’t vacuum out the vehicle regularly to keep the hair (and consequently the smell) under control, then your car definitely fucking stinks.
If you have children and you ever put them in your car, then your car fucking stinks. Kids are the death knell for a car that doesn’t stink. Having these parasites in you car means you absorb all the smells that go along with them. Diapers, food, spilled drinks, various creams and lotions,
and whothefuck knows what else.
Food. Dude, everybody eats in their car at one time or another. But if you spill the french fries while driving down the road, at least try to clean it up when you stop. Hell, as long as you don’t wait two weeks you should be fine.
On the flip side are people who overcompensate for their stink and buy four vanilla air fresheners or the strongest smelling incense hippy sonofabitch air freshener. Does anyone really want their car to smell like a convenience store? Lay off that shit. Damn.
Not sure if your car stinks? Try this. Park your car with all the windows up for a couple of hours. Find a friend who doesn’t regularly ride in your car and ask them to get in the car and give you their immediate first impression. I bet it stinks. Everybody's car is different and they all smell different. There is hope. Febreeze is your friend. Extreme cases of car stink should be handled by a stink professional at a quality car detail shop. Don't be the stinky kid, asshole.
If you have pets (especially dogs) and regularly transport them in your car/truck/suv and you don’t vacuum out the vehicle regularly to keep the hair (and consequently the smell) under control, then your car definitely fucking stinks.
If you have children and you ever put them in your car, then your car fucking stinks. Kids are the death knell for a car that doesn’t stink. Having these parasites in you car means you absorb all the smells that go along with them. Diapers, food, spilled drinks, various creams and lotions,
and whothefuck knows what else.
Food. Dude, everybody eats in their car at one time or another. But if you spill the french fries while driving down the road, at least try to clean it up when you stop. Hell, as long as you don’t wait two weeks you should be fine.
On the flip side are people who overcompensate for their stink and buy four vanilla air fresheners or the strongest smelling incense hippy sonofabitch air freshener. Does anyone really want their car to smell like a convenience store? Lay off that shit. Damn.
Not sure if your car stinks? Try this. Park your car with all the windows up for a couple of hours. Find a friend who doesn’t regularly ride in your car and ask them to get in the car and give you their immediate first impression. I bet it stinks. Everybody's car is different and they all smell different. There is hope. Febreeze is your friend. Extreme cases of car stink should be handled by a stink professional at a quality car detail shop. Don't be the stinky kid, asshole.
posted by Sean at 1:04 AM
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